Lessons from the Dalai Lama

I’ve spent the last three decades building companies. Ten so far, not counting the hundreds I mentored at Fledge. Nine where I was founder or co-founder. The one exception was Mforma, which I joined in 2001 after the dot-com bubble burst.

Mforma was created and eventually run by Dan Kranzler. Eventually, as Mforma was a roll-up of mobile-focused startups that had barely survived both the dot-com bubble and the early attempts at mobile games and apps. All far too early, as this was six years before the iPhone.

I left Mforma in 2005 to co-found Medio, and I lost touch with Dan. Where I next saw him was a big surprise. I was at the Seahawks’ Stadium with 50,000 other people to hear the Dalai Lama speak. The first person on stage was the Governor of Washington State. Then the Mayor of Seattle. Then an Eldar from the Lummi tribe. Then Dan Kranzler???

Turns out it was Dan’s nonprofit that invited the Dalai Lama to visit Seattle and which had organized that event, and the event a few days prior at the Sonics’ Arena where the Dalai Lama spoke with school children, including my then 6- and 8-year-olds.

I next saw Dan in 2012 when I started Fledge. Dan jumped into being a mentor for the first few years of fledglings. In 2015, Dan asked if I could help his nonprofit update its website. I volunteered.

A few months later, Dan asked if I wanted to join a delegation visiting the Dalai Lama in India, with a mission of organizing another visit to Seattle. I asked if I could invite Cyrus Habib, the then-new Lieutenant Governor of Washington, who I knew from before he jumped into politics, and I asked if I could bring my then 16 year old, who had seen the Dalai Lama speak 10 years earlier.

Cyrus had to drop off days before trip due to illness, but eventually had a 1:1 meeting.

My son and I joined ten others in 2016. The most senior State Senator filled in for Cyrus and a State Representative was in the delegate too. That made our delegation a state visit, and the first day we met the (globally elected) President of the Tibetan government-in-exile, the Speaker of the House, and on the last day took a hike in the Himalayan foothills with the Chief Justice. There was also a pair of US House Representatives from Washington DC and we wound up having dinner with them and their staff and other members of the Tibetan government.

I did, many times, take note that I was there solely because I happened to know the right person, and because I happened to know how to build a website.

Anyhow… on the third day of this whirlwind trip we had our audience with the Dalai Lama. We had been prepped on protocol. We had been told to expect 15 minutes.

After everyone’s handshake and prayer shawl, we sat in a semi-circle on couches and chairs. The Dalai Lama was helped into his chair and began telling stories. His personality is exactly as you’ve seen. He makes a lot of jokes.

Which, BTW, is not unique to him. The President and Chief Justices, both fluent in English similar were a mix of serious, brilliant, and funny.

What they don’t tell you and what you don’t see in videos is how the Dalai Lama speaks in small groups. He picks one person per topic, looks them in the eye, and teaches them. Then moves to someone else for the next topic.

The man spoke to us for more than a half hour. Twice I was the student who was being taught. The only way to describe that is… wow!

This was 2016 so he spoke a lot about US policies. He also taught us some Buddhist lessons and Tibetan culture. He, of course, talked about Compassion.

Eventualy, he stopped, and asked why were there. Our senior member, the State Senator, made the formal invitation to re-visit Seattle. Apparently, of the hundreds of cities the Dalai Lama had visited in his long life, the only city to not invite him back within a few years was Seattle. Ooops. More disappointing is that due to his age he had decided to stop traveling the world. We thus missed the window of opportunity.

45 minutes after we sat down, the staff began ushering us out of the room.

This is when I seized the day. My son had been sitting on the other side of the room. At that moment he was next to me. I turned toward the Dalai Lama, and said, “Your holiness, my son saw you speak 10 years ago when he was just 6 years old.”

The 14th Dalai Lama turned around, smiled, and patted my son on the cheek, three times!

On the walk back through town to the hotel, utterly amazed by what we had experienced over those three days, I pointed out to my son that his college essay had just been written. The opening words to be, “The day I was slapped by the Dalai Lama…”

Two years later he did in fact use that story as his college essay. And BTW, normally they don’t allow photography in these meetings. They made an exception for our delegation and my other suggestion for the delegation is a friend of time, fellow impact investor, who long ago was an AP photographer. Thank you Tim for capturing this spontaneous, moment.

Here we are nine years later, dozens of retellings later, and my take-away lesson is still the same. The most amazing moments in life are not those you plan. They come from the luck you create yourself by being in the right place, at the right time, and taking the chance when it comes.